If you are living in a relationship where you feel afraid, controlled, belittled, or unsafe: what you are experiencing is real. It is not your fault, and you deserve support.
Domestic violence can leave you questioning your own reality, wondering if things are really that bad, if you’re overreacting, or if somehow you caused this. These doubts are a natural response to abuse, and they do not mean you’re wrong about what you feel.
Whether you are currently in an abusive situation, have recently left, or are still processing experiences from years ago, you have taken a brave step by seeking information. Here in Manassas, VA, I provide a safe, confidential space where you can begin to reclaim your sense of self, your safety, and your future. If you are in immediate danger, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
Need someone safe to talk to? Call (571) 229-3418 or book your first session.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence, also called intimate partner violence, is a pattern of behavior in a relationship used by one person to gain or maintain power and control over another. While many people associate domestic violence with physical harm, it encompasses a much broader range of abusive behaviors, and some of the most damaging forms leave no visible marks at all.
Emotional and psychological abuse includes constant criticism, humiliation, name-calling, gaslighting (making you doubt your perceptions), and threats. It erodes your sense of self-worth and reality over time. Physical abuse involves hitting, pushing, choking, restraining, or any unwanted physical contact. Financial abuse means controlling your access to money, preventing you from working, or using finances as a tool of control. Sexual abuse is any unwanted sexual contact or coercion within the relationship. Coercive control is an overarching pattern of domination that may include isolation from friends and family, monitoring your movements and communications, making all decisions for you, and creating an environment of fear.
Domestic violence occurs across all demographics: every income level, education level, race, religion, gender, and sexual orientation. It often escalates gradually, which can make it difficult to recognize until the pattern is well established. Many survivors describe a slow erosion of their independence, confidence, and identity that happened so incrementally they didn’t see it happening.
Understanding that what you’ve experienced is abuse (and that it is not normal, not your fault, and not something you caused) is often the first step toward reclaiming your life.
Signs of Domestic Violence and Abuse
Because domestic violence takes so many forms and often involves manipulation of your perception, it can be difficult to identify from the inside. The following signs may indicate that you are in an abusive relationship:
- You feel afraid of your partner’s reactions, moods, or anger
- You walk on eggshells, constantly adjusting your behavior to avoid conflict
- Your partner controls your finances, social connections, daily activities, or appearance
- You are isolated from friends, family, or support systems
- Your partner uses jealousy as justification for controlling behavior
- You are criticized, belittled, or humiliated, in private or in front of others
- Your reality is questioned: you’re told you’re “too sensitive,” “crazy,” or that events you remember didn’t happen
- Physical intimidation: throwing objects, punching walls, blocking doorways, or invading your space
- Your partner threatens to hurt you, your children, your pets, or themselves if you leave
- You feel responsible for your partner’s emotions and behavior
- Cycles of abuse and remorse: intense conflict followed by apologies, gifts, or promises to change
If you recognize these patterns, even a few of them, your experience matters. Abuse does not require physical violence to be real and damaging.
How IFS Helps with Domestic Violence Recovery
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a powerful approach for healing from domestic violence because it works directly with the complex internal landscape that abuse creates. Survivors of domestic violence often carry not just trauma but a tangle of internal parts: parts that love the abuser, parts that are terrified, parts that feel shame, parts that are furious, and parts that have learned to minimize or deny the abuse to survive.
Traditional approaches to domestic violence recovery may focus on psychoeducation about abuse dynamics, safety planning, and symptom management. While these are essential foundations that I incorporate into my work, IFS adds a deeper dimension. It helps you understand and heal the internal parts that were shaped by the abuse.
For example, many survivors have a part that blames itself, a part that absorbed the abuser’s message that the violence was somehow deserved. In IFS, we approach this part with compassion, helping it release the burden of self-blame that it took on. There may also be parts that feel loyal to the abuser, parts that fear being alone, or parts that have become hypervigilant, always scanning for danger. Each of these parts served a protective function during the abuse, and they deserve understanding, not judgment.
As these parts are witnessed and their burdens released, survivors often describe a real shift: reclaiming a sense of self that the abuse had obscured, reconnecting with their own inner wisdom and strength, and developing an internal foundation of safety that no longer depends on external circumstances. This is the kind of lasting change that makes rebuilding your life not just possible, but genuinely hopeful.
IFS also addresses the trauma that domestic violence creates, working with trauma responses like hypervigilance, emotional numbing, flashbacks, and anxiety in a way that is gentle, paced to your readiness, and respectful of your experience.
My Approach to Domestic Violence Counseling
Safety is always the first priority in my work with survivors of domestic violence. Before we engage in deeper therapeutic work, I ensure that you have the practical supports you need, whether that means developing a safety plan, connecting with community resources, or simply having a confidential space where you can speak freely without fear.
As a Licensed Professional Counselor with over 19 years of clinical experience, a Certified IFS Therapist with Level 2 training, and a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, I bring specialized expertise to this sensitive work. I understand the dynamics of abusive relationships: the cycles, the trauma bonds, the ways abuse affects your sense of self. I approach this understanding without judgment.
My therapeutic approach is empowering, not directive. I will never tell you what to do about your relationship. I trust that with the right support, information, and internal healing, you are capable of making the decisions that are right for your life. My role is to provide that support, to help you reconnect with your own inner wisdom, and to walk beside you as you rebuild.
I work at your pace. Domestic violence recovery cannot be rushed, and I never push you to process more than you’re ready for. We build safety, both external and internal, first. From that foundation, deeper healing work becomes possible. Learn more about my qualifications and philosophy.
For those whose experiences intersect with relationship concerns, it is important to note that I provide individual domestic violence recovery counseling separately from couples therapy. Couples therapy is not appropriate when there is active abuse or a significant power imbalance in the relationship.
What to Expect in Sessions
When you first contact me, we’ll begin with a confidential conversation about your situation and what you’re hoping for. I take extra care with safety considerations from the very first interaction, including discussing whether it’s safe for you to receive calls, emails, or appointment reminders.
In our initial sessions, the focus is on building trust, understanding your current situation, assessing safety, and beginning to create a foundation of stability. I will not rush you into talking about traumatic details before you’re ready. We start where you are.
As therapy progresses, sessions may include IFS parts work to heal the internal wounds created by abuse, practical coping strategies for managing anxiety, hypervigilance, or depression, and ongoing support as you work through the complex process of recovery, whether that means leaving the relationship, having already left, or processing past abuse.
Sessions are 50 minutes, available in-person at my Manassas, VA office and via telehealth throughout Virginia and Florida. My fee is $215 per session, and I accept Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance. I offer an initial consultation. Your safety and confidentiality are my absolute priorities.
What I Bring to This Work
Working with a survivor of domestic violence requires a therapist with both clinical expertise and a commitment to safety, respect, and empowerment. Here is what I bring:
- Trauma specialization: As a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and Certified IFS Therapist, I have the advanced training needed to work safely and effectively with the trauma of domestic violence.
- 19+ years of clinical experience: I have supported survivors at every stage, from those currently in abusive situations to those rebuilding their lives years after leaving.
- Safety-first approach: I understand that therapy itself must be safe: emotionally, psychologically, and practically. Every aspect of our work prioritizes your well-being.
- Empowerment, not direction: Abuse takes away your power. My therapeutic approach is designed to help you reclaim it. I will never tell you what to do. I will help you reconnect with your own ability to choose.
When you are ready, schedule a confidential consultation or call (571) 229-3418.